Have a Self Love Day Party of One

Self Love Day: Why We Celebrate Ourselves

Though Party Themes Galore is a site that shares themes and ideas for actual parties that include multiple people, it’s important to remember that you yourself are worth celebrating, too. Just for being you! That is why there is a Party of One category with examples of party themes and ideas you can embrace when you want to have a special time on your own. And the most appropriate solo theme is, naturally, Self Love Day! This is a new holiday celebrated on February 13^th. In 2008, it was invented to encourage people to fully and wholeheartedly love their selves and, therefore, not feel any ‘less loved’ on Valentine’s Day if they have no external source/other person from whom to receive love.

What is Self Love?

Self love can be defined so many different ways. Some think of it as an abstract emotional concept where you have a healthy sense of self-esteem and genuinely love yourself. I think that makes perfect sense, but I like to think of it more from a practical standpoint of self-care, a tangible process by which you meet your own physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and/or social needs throughout your life. That also ties into the way I view love in general – more as an action/verb that you do to express love for [anyone] as opposed to the inner feeling you harbor for them. So this is the way we’ll express self love for your Self Love Day party: doing some kind of action for yourself as a way to help yourself feel your absolute best.

Self-Care: Lauded in Theory; Lacking in Reality

Self love without self-care is as fruitful as a relationship where you love someone but do nothing to show it. You have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. Self love and self-care are concepts we hear more about these days, as they’ve become quite trendy in psych culture. But society has a long way to go toward actually implementing them. We may sanction self love and implore people to practice self-care, but for many, it’s extremely difficult – or impossible – given the many demands of modern life. Even if you aren’t working three jobs just trying to make rent, you may have young kids or kids with a developmental challenge that requires your attention every waking moment. You may be juggling work and school therapist meetings and doctor appointments and every number of tasks. And we haven’t even gotten to dinner or keeping a home.

So even though people like to exhort self love, in reality the actual practice of self-care is sadly unattainable for most. As parents, it can be a struggle to simply bathe as frequently as we want, let alone get sufficient sleep. When we live in a world in which we can comfortably meet all of our dependents’ and our physical needs and still have time leftover, that is when self-care will be much more attainable on a regular basis, as we all need and deserve. Until then, this is something – like any event – that you are going to have to plan. So let’s plan a perfect Self Love Day party!

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How to Celebrate Self Love Day

1. Decide What You Will Do/Where You Will Be, and Prepare That Space As Needed

A Self Love Day celebration will look different for everyone. We are each unique, with our own personalities, preferences and preferred self-care activities. The question to ask yourself is, what can you do or where can you be to bring you the most joy, fulfillment and sense of inner wholeness and peace? For some people, it’s a delightful day doing favourite activities at home. For others, it’s a glorious adventure exploring a new place or visiting a favourite place. Maybe it’s going hiking or relaxing in a park. The point is, what you want to do determines where you’ll be which determines whether you need to prepare your space. If you’ll be somewhere else, no home changes are needed. But if you’ll spend your time at home, you’ll want to make it most comfortable for you.

I’m most comfortable in my home when it’s clean (vacuumed, etc.) and tidy (organized, no clutter or free-range objects, everything in visually-pleasing order). There’s a 99% chance this won’t happen anytime soon, as I have two precious and messy young boys! But I fantasize about the day they can both spend a day somewhere else so I can whip our home into shape and still have time to bask in it. How can you make your home most comfortable and appealing to you? By cleaning it? By redecorating in a way you’ve been wanting to do? You are worth revamping your home in whatever feasible way you prefer! Maybe your home’s perfect as it is and you simply want the time to do whatever you want. If so, happily skip this step! But if there’s anything you can do to improve your space, this will benefit your Self Love Day.

2. Plan Your Favourite Menu

Self Love Day is all about your favourites, and that includes your favourite food! This is a day to eat what you most like. With one caveat: the fine balance between what your mind wants and what your body needs. What I mean by this is that we sometimes crave things that our mind wants but that don’t make our body feel good. I’m not talking about calories or dietary ‘rules’. I’m talking about when we eat or drink something and then we feel physically or emotionally crappier afterwards. If chocolate makes you feel amazing, eat it! But if it (or anything else) makes your mind foggier, or you feel anxious or physically icky, don’t eat it. This should be common sense but it’s important to clarify. Eat things that you enjoy and that make you feel good in every way (or at least don’t make you feel worse).

The same thing goes for caffeine and alcohol. There is a delicate balance between consuming things that benefit our mental health and consuming things that benefit our physical health. If we’re lucky, we will consume things that do both. But sometimes, our mood temporarily improves after consuming things that aren’t great for our health (looking at you, sugar). Use wisdom, common sense, and know yourself here. Everyone’s different, but my general advice is to first fill up on healthy things that are great for your body (and which you generally enjoy). Hydrate with nutritious beverages, and satisfy your hunger with tasty, nourishing foods. Once those needs are met, then indulge in your favourites – even if they don’t top the health charts. If they genuinely make you happier – without a post-crash and burn or other negative consequences, then go for it!

3. Treat Yourself to Evocative Scents

What is your favourite smell? Is it a specific baked good, flower or herb? Is it damp soil? A campfire? A specific cologne? Whatever smell brings you the most delight is what to surround yourself in on Self Love Day, if at all feasible!

There are also many self love-themed candles of various scents and designs that aim to comfort that pleasurable sense of smell:

• Self Love vanilla-scented candle
• Self Love rose-scented candle
• ‘Self Love/empower yourself’ candle with crystals and herbs
• Self Love intention candle (jasmine, bergamot, cassis, rose, neroli, and smoky musk scented)
• ‘Little Reminders/you are enough’ inspiration candle (multiple scent options)
• ‘Day Drinking because…adulting’ candle (pineapple, coconut and rum scented)
• ‘A Wise Woman Once Said F*ck That Sh*t’ candle (multiple scent options)
• Many more self love candles

4. Plan Self Love Activities

Only you know your ideal way to spend Self Love Day! The goal is to do what makes you feel good. If you need inspiration, here are some ideas and examples:

• Read a book you love
• Redecorate your house/room
• Get some deep, restorative sleep
• Do your favourite sport/physical exercise
• Pray or do any spiritual exercise that nourishes you
• Get bodywork: massage, haircut, mani/pedi, acupuncture, reiki, etc.
• Listen to music you love (while doing anything else, or nothing at all)
• Go to your favourite place, or venture somewhere new if you love exploring
• Meditate, whether independently or with a free guided meditation app such as Insight Timer
• Watch a show/movie or podcast that energizes or inspires you, or generates positive thoughts
• Do your favourite hobby (play music, make art, write, learn a language/study your passion, etc.)

Checklist of Items You Need

This is a list of the physical things you need for this celebration:

1. Anything that enhances your home space to your liking (if you’ll be at home)
2. Your favourite foods/drinks, and/or ingredients to make these
3. Delicious-smelling candles, or whatever creates your favourite scent
4. Things you need for your preferred activities

Checklist of Preparations for Your Self Love Day Party

1. First, confirm that other people can cover your normal responsibilities on the date you choose:

1. When Self Love Day (February 13^th) falls on a weekday, it may be more feasible to celebrate it on the weekend before or after if you can’t take off work for the actual day or day before. It really makes no difference which date you choose, but what matters is that you can arrange for others to cover whatever your normal responsibilities would be that day. If it’s a workday, you’ll need to request that day off work. If it’s a weekend but you have kids, you may need to arrange for someone else to keep your kids at their house that day. So think of at least a couple of days that are suitable for you, in case one specific day works better than another
2. Ask trusted others to take over your usual responsibilities for that day

2. Then, proceed with the planning:

1. Schedule time on your calendar for each step of preparation (i.e. securing things to modify your space as needed, securing and/or making food/drinks, and securing and/or setting up anything needed for your preferred activities)
2. Order any items for sprucing up your space a few weeks out (so they arrive in time to set up)
3. Shop for any above items that you don’t order online, as well as non-perishable food/drinks
4. In your planned time slots, acquire perishable food/drinks early enough in advance to prepare
5. In your planned time slots, clean and/or prepare your home space (if you will be at home)
6. In your planned time slots, prepare food/drinks (depending on how long things keep)

3. On Self Love Day (or whichever day you celebrate):

1. Dress in whatever outfit makes you feel most comfortable and fabulous
2. Prepare any foods/drinks that you couldn’t prepare sooner (due to how well they keep fresh). This entire day is special, so enjoy every step of the process – including cooking! Play your favourite cooking playlist while you jam out in the kitchen.
3. Set up any quick/easy last-minute home modifications (such as arranging/lighting candles)
4. Prepare audio/visual (if you will be watching/listening to something) if you haven’t already
5. You are now all set to do whatever brings you the most joy! You deserve it.

At the End of the Day (and all day, and every day): Love Yourself

May this celebration help you to feel more connected to yourself, more centered, more grounded, and more appreciative of the unique person that you are. Only you have had your exact life experiences, so take that into account and love all of who you are. Happy Self Love Day!