It seems like the older you get, the more money you’re likely to blow on eating out at nice restaurants for special occasions. These can be lovely affairs, but the expenses really rack up quick. Or maybe you blow way too much money at a bar on a night out with friends. You could probably spend the same amount of money you’d spend on a fabulous meal at a good restaurant or multiple drinks at a bar on having a fabulous party (also with great food and drinks) with all your friends. Of course, you may prefer the establishment option – and, for certain occasions, that simply makes more sense. But you may not realize that having a party is an equally viable option, one that may very well be more cost effective and a lot more fun.
Hosting vs. Consumable Amenities
1. Labor Output vs. Expenses: Hosting Requires More Work (but only as much as you choose)
The most obvious difference between going out to dine or be entertained is the role reversal: consumer vs. provider. Now, as party host (a provider role), you will still have some expenses depending on what type and amount of food and drink you provide, what sort of decor you employ, and the like. But the extent of that expense is entirely up to you. You’ll most likely pay more at a nice restaurant or other establishment. The primary contrast between going out and having a party is your efforts as host.
1) As host, you are in charge of food provision, preparation, and cleanup
When you go to a decent restaurant, you are being wined and dined. You are the consumer who receives a dining service for a monetary exchange. When you are tired and need to rest or relax, a restaurant or other similar experience may be the more appealing option. Sometimes, we just need to be catered to. A lifetime of cooking for ourselves and/or families and then cleaning up afterwards can get exhausting. It’s nice to be the recipient of a delicious meal and not have to do any work for a change. That’s why it’s called a restaurant.
When you host a party, however, you aren’t necessarily serving a fine meal (unless that’s the type of party you choose to host). You can be as casual as you want and just serve easy appetizers. You can go to great lengths to cook and prepare elaborate hors d’oeuvres that delight any palate, or you can heat up frozen finger foods in the oven for ten minutes and call food prep done. The point is to do what you’re comfortable with and can handle, in lieu of what type of party you’re having, and to let guests know in advance what to expect as far as how much food and what type of food they’ll have (i.e. small appetizers vs. potluck-style spread).
2) You set up any decorations and party-related activities
Again, you can go as elaborate or as simple as you want with party decorations. Depending on your theme and how ambitious you are, your efforts toward creating a certain scene may be little indeed. But if you plan to DIY party decor, you’ll have more effort on your hands and will also have to carve out that time in advance. So long as this isn’t stressful or so laborious for you that it’s unenjoyable, it’s well worth it to produce the scene you want. But it will cost you, if not in expense then in time and effort, so you have to plan for that and make sure you can handle it.
Party decor isn’t free unless you DIY everything with scavenged materials you don’t pay for. And that is possible! But it takes time and effort, and if you don’t have as much of that to spare, you may be better off buying party decor. You don’t have to spend a ton on this. Thrift stores and dollar stores are decent options. But depending on your theme, you may need to get creative or spend more to find what you’re looking for. So long as it’s comfortably in your budget, this is an ideal alternative to DIY if you have less time.
Unless you’re spending big, you probably won’t spend more than you would at a fancy restaurant (and that’s combined with your own party refreshment expenses). But even if you do, consider the recipient: an entire party of guests vs. just you or you and your partner. Also, you or a friend can reuse party decor and leftover supplies. And when you host parties more or less regularly, you learn to plan accordingly and not go over the top more than is feasible for your budget.
3) You are the MC
All you need to do at a restaurant is sit and be pampered. You aren’t expected to make conversation with the staff or other guests (though you hopefully converse with your partner or table mate!). Your job is just to consume delicious food and drink (and pay for it, obviously). But at your party, you as host must of course greet and socialize with your guests. Depending on your personality, that can take a lot more energy! Ideally, if you’re having a party, you’re already the kind of person who can comfortably embrace that role as such.
Of course I hope that you do love parties and want to host your own (I imagine that’s why you’re reading this site). But you know yourself better than anyone else and if the thought of being in charge of a party makes you want to pee your pants, you might rather host a small gathering with a select few friends (I’m talking 2-3) so that you can feel more relaxed and comfortable. And truly, your party can have as many or as few people as you like – there’s no rule! But know that hosting any sort of party requires at least a certain level of your attention, care and energy.
2. You Can Throw a Party on Your Own Terms
The biggest benefit to having a party rather than going out is that you can decide every detail. From choosing when and for how long to have your party (though you’ll first want to confirm at least a minimum guest availability when you first plan and invite guests) to what music or visual/movie you play, you as host/MC have complete control over how you plan your party.
Consider the social energy and positive effects of bringing people together in a relaxed and playful setting. Adults don’t get enough fun: true, spontaneous fun often ends with childhood. Excitement seems to peter out after youth. But it doesn’t have to! The fun can continue into adulthood in the form of parties – that you create.
1) It can last as long as you want it to last
Public establishment hours vary and aren’t always convenient for your schedule. And while some places welcome lingering customers, busy establishments prefer you leave after a certain amount of time so that they can serve new patrons. Unless you’ve just dropped a grand, it isn’t acceptable to linger at a table for an hour after you’ve finished your meal and haven’t bought anything else. But your party can last as long as you want! Naturally, your party eventually ends at the time you specify. But that can be as early or as late as you allow, so if you and your guests are having a good time and you aren’t in any hurry to move along, you can linger in your own home as long as you want.
2) It can look and feel however you want it to look and feel
When you step into a restaurant, bar or café, you may adore the intriguing look and feel of the space. The owner of the establishment (or whoever designed it) may have done a fantastic job at creating a nice environment. Alternatively, you may enter a place and think of all the ways they really need to spruce it up. The decor could be hideous or non-existent, or worse – the place could be in shambles. There may be glaring fluorescent overhead lights. But as patron, there’s nothing you can do about that.
At your party, however, you can make your space as awesome as you want. You have absolute control over how it looks, sounds, smells and feels. So even though as party host you are the one putting in the effort to create such an environment, you ultimately get to enjoy it along with all your guests. You get to create it just how you want it. It can be wacky, it can be classy, it can be sexy, it can be cute. You’re the MC.
3) You can get as diverse and creative as you want with food and entertainment options
We can’t rival the top chefs at the best restaurants (unless you’re already a top chef yourself). But while it’s unlikely the food we serve at our party will be as fabulous as what you find in finer establishments, we can at least serve up some pretty amazing plates and drinks! The menu is your oyster as far as hosting is concerned, but it’s best practices to follow these basic measures when providing a variety of food options:
- Special diet options: vegan (or at least vegetarian and dairy-free) and gluten-free
- Substantial (this means vegan and gluten-free dishes are filling and not simply vegetables)
- Delicious (the dishes taste good – they aren’t plain unseasoned rice and beans, for example)
- Nutritious (don’t obsess over this, but don’t serve up everything fried – use common sense)
- Ample (have plenty of food so that you don’t run out – it’s okay to include cheaper backups)
Regarding dietary restrictions, if you 100% know that none of your guests have any dietary restrictions and everyone is happy and safe to eat whatever, then of course you don’t need to provide those options. It’s obviously good to have a variety and not just a meat platter, but you won’t need to make sure you have substantial, delicious and nutritious special dietary dishes.
…And Just Don’t Run Out of Food!
As far as the amount of food is concerned, it’s best to be safe and have more food than you think you’ll need just in case people are really hungry and gobble it all up. But that being said, it’s okay if you have a reasonable amount of your main dishes and then have cheaper/easier ‘back-up’ food that may not be as delicious or exciting but that will at least feed ongoing eaters (I’m thinking Triscuits and such).
Keep in mind these guidelines for drinks, too. If you’re providing alcoholic beverages, remember to also include plenty of delicious and reasonably nutritious non-alcoholic options. That means, if at all possible within your budget, don’t just default to soda or sweet tea but instead provide sparkling juices and/or flavoured seltzer waters and natural juices. And keep options healthy in general – not everyone wants a pre-diabetic cocktail of super sugary ‘orange beverage’ for instance. Be sure to provide drink options that don’t contain insane amounts of sugar. You can provide as many sugary things as you want, but at least have some options for more mindful drinkers. (One nice thing about beverages is that even though you want to have enough for everyone, at least nobody will actually go thirsty so long as you have decent tap water or filtered water from your refrigerator or a pitcher.)
3. Satisfying Conversations and Connections are Easier at a Party
If your main priority is to talk to others, it can make a lot more sense to host a party. This is because not every outing allows for easy conversation, depending on the type and the place. Going to the movies or theater is an obvious example, and that goes without saying. But even going to restaurants, cafes or bars can feel annoying when it isn’t as easy to carry a conversation. Here’s why it’s easier to connect with others when you party at home:
1) You can move around as you please
When you’re at a restaurant, you’re expected to stay seated in your chairs. If you’re with a group at a large table, it isn’t always possible to communicate with someone seated far away. That can feel limiting if you want to talk more with them. Likewise, at a crowded bar, it may be hard to move ten feet across a room. Getting a drink at the bar can take way longer when you have to push your way to the front. But your mobility and ability to get a drink at your home is free and easy! You can converse with someone here, then walk across the room to talk to another person. The flow of movement and conversation is a lot easier.
2) You can control the volume
Have you ever felt hoarse after talking with friends at a loud restaurant? Some establishments have terrible acoustics and the din of everyone’s conversation echoes off the walls and ceiling to amplify noise. If every patron could be trusted to use a quieter voice this wouldn’t be as bad, but many people don’t know the meaning of ‘indoor voices’ or are simply hard of hearing and so you easily hear every word of their conversation across the room. You then have to speak more loudly in order to hear each other at your own table, and by the end of the meal, you’ve nearly lost your voice.
The same is often even more true at a lively bar. Music is usually loud, and sometimes you have to practically shout in order to hear each other. Some nights out can be really fun and you may be less concerned about conversation than drinking and dancing. But if you want to have any sort of conversation, it’s a lot easier at your own home where your music volume can be as quiet or as loud (within reason) as you want so that it’s possible to converse and dance and have a good time. Even if your music’s bumping, you can always retreat to a quieter room as needed (unless it’s a studio).
3) You aren’t interrupted
Yes, as host you need to tend to certain responsibilities like restocking food and drinks and greeting guests who arrive. But other than that, there isn’t really anything forcing you to interrupt your conversations with people. Whereas at a restaurant, there are other matters to attend to such as communicating with wait staff (minimal, but still a conversation interrupter) and paying the bill. Being at a bar can be very distracting in general – maybe less so at a quiet pub, but depending on how loud or busy a place is, it can definitely be more a more barraging environment. At your party, an invigorating conversation can last and evolve as long as everyone pleases.
Overview of Why Having a Party is a More Cost-Effective and Better Way to Have Fun
Here is a recap of how having a party compares to going out to a hospitality establishment:
- A party requires more work, but only as much as you choose. You are in charge of food provision, preparation, and cleanup. You set up any decorations and party-related activities, and you pay attention to and socialize with your guests.
- You can throw a party on your own terms. It can last as long as you want it to last, and it can look and feel however you prefer. You can get as diverse and creative as you want with food and fun activities.
- Satisfying conversations and connections are easier at a party. You can move around as you please, you can control the volume, and you aren’t constantly interrupted.
If you love exercising some control, flexibility and creativity over how you spend your leisure time with others, then having a party is likely more rewarding than paying an establishment to be treated. There is definitely more work involved, but only as much as you choose. You’ll very likely spend less money, and in return you’ll have a more invigorating and satisfying shared experience. In addition, you’ll be giving this fun experience to your guests, and that’s always a positive (which they’ll appreciate!). Whether you’ve never thrown your own party or you’re a seasoned host, you can find other helpful tips in the Best Party Practices section of Party Themes Galore. I am confident that you can successfully host an awesome party that’s way more fun than conventional outings!