How to Host a Friendsgiving Party

Friendsgiving: The Holiday for Friends

Friendsgiving party vignette showing cornucopia with autumn bounty spilling out (persimmons, apples, potatoes, etc.) next to pumpkin and other produce, box of grapes, two bottles of red, two glasses of red, and a cutting board and knife with cut baguette on it — Photo by Brad West

Thanksgiving is a tradition when we gather with family to feast and give thanks. But what if we can’t (or don’t want to) gather with family, for any given reason? That’s where Friendsgiving comes in! Friendsgiving is unique in that it’s the one holiday where the focus is friends, not family. A Friendsgiving party is where we gather with the people we’ve chosen to share our lives with. It’s special because it’s a blend of tradition (the celebration of Thanksgiving) and novelty (friends may be new or old). Food may include traditional Thanksgiving staples, or it may include a hodgepodge of tasty dishes. While there are plenty of ways to throw a Friendsgiving party, we’ll cover some helpful staples so you are good and ready to host!

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How to Throw a Friendsgiving Party

An out-of-focus smiling brunette woman in a sweater is seen in the background with her arms up and a bunch of (in-focus) leaves suspended in the air in front of and around her, which she just tossed up — Photo by Jakob Owens

1. Create the Scene with Autumnal Decorations

Photo of a mantel decorated with fall themed items, perfect for a Friendsgiving party: a silver candelabra with three beeswax tea lights on it (instead of tapers), two empty wine bottles holding stalks of sea oats, a pumpkin-shaped beeswax candle, a metallic-painted leaf-shaped clay decoration, a beeswax pillar candle, many dried autumn leaves, and a pumpkin-shaped decorative wall hanging that reads 'Harvest Blessings'

Deck the halls with – not holly (yet), but autumn leaves, pumpkins and gourds! In the northern hemisphere, November is still fall so adorn your party space with plenty of harvest-themed decor. You could buy artificial fall leaf garlands, or just as easily grab a bunch of real ones from outside and scatter them around the table and other display areas. See if any places now offer discounted mini pumpkins since Halloween has passed. Scavenge for acorns outside and display them in little ceramic bowls. Anything seasonal and earthy is perfect for Friendsgiving decor. Think of nature’s seasonal bounty and dress your home accordingly! Here are some festive Friendsgiving finds:

Decorative ('Indian') corn, as seen displayed in a basket in this close-up photo, is a traditional autumn decoration fit for a Friendsgiving party — Photo by Meritt Thomas

2. Prepare Your Friendsgiving Feast

Food is the centerpiece of a Friendsgiving party (along with friends, of course). All of your party planning efforts should defer to the menu! The first question to ask is the nature of the meal. Will it be a sit-down dinner with various dishes and courses at the dining table, Thanksgiving-style? Or will it be a more casual affair where people load their plates in the kitchen and then go sit down wherever to chat while balancing plate on lap?

Friendsgiving party guests in kitchen with plates to fill with food. Guy in center uses metal utensil to transfer turkey to his plate, while girl waits behind him. Another set of hands is seen off to the left preparing something at the counter. Other dishes (sweet potato casserole, crescent rolls, etc.) surround the turkey dish on either side — Photo by Craig Adderley

You also need to decide who does the feeding. Will you provide the entire meal? Or will you provide the main dishes and invite others to bring drinks and desserts? Or will you make it a Friendsgiving potluck where everyone brings a dish to share? Will the dishes be substantial as in a traditional meal, or tapas-style appetizers? Will the meal have a theme (i.e. traditional Thanksgiving, Mexican, Italian, etc.) or will you invite people to bring any type of food?

Top-down view of warmly lit wooden table covered in various Friendsgiving party dishes - mashed potatoes, broccoli, yams, etc. — Photo by Wendy Wei

So much to decide for one tasty meal! But that’s the beauty of a Friendsgiving party: it can be what you, as host, decide it to be. Just make a decision that sits best with you and make it clear to guests when you initially invite them. Because a potluck is only a potluck when guests know to bring something! And people need to know whether to expect loads of food or lighter appetizers. What they need to disclose are any dietary restrictions, so make sure you ask them to tell you when they RSVP. That way you can provide a few tasty options they can definitely eat.

A bowl of small potatoes with a couple of ears of corn and a sprig of thyme rests on a table near a basket of small decorative pumpkins and lit votive candles. An inviting scene for a Friendsgiving party — Photos by Rdne Stock Project and Cottonbro Studio

Friendsgiving party guests filling plates from various dishes at a nicely decorated candlelit table — Photos by Rdne Stock Project and Cottonbro Studio

If you need some culinary inspiration, here are some Friendsgiving-inspired finds to get you started:

Top-down photo of colourful autumn maple leaf-shaped cookies on a pan — Photos by Fernanda Publio and Diliara Garifullina

Staged photo of pumpkin pie with decorative leaf-shaped crust around rim, basket of apples nearby, small orange pumpkin, and other items — Photos by Fernanda Publio and Diliara Garifullina

3. Play Friendsgiving-Friendly Music

Background music helps set a party’s vibe. A Friendsgiving vibe should be fun and happy. There isn’t any definitive ‘Friendsgiving’ music genre, so just roll with what best suits you and your friends! If you just want to play pleasant background music to enjoy while eating, some examples include upbeat jazz, classical music, or a pop music instrumental playlist. But remember, there is no one-size-fits-all music for a meal with friends! It just depends on what you and your friends enjoy. Though, of all party themes, Friendsgiving is one where music isn’t as essential to the party. As long as everyone is enjoying their selves and people are happy talking and eating, that’s all that matters!

Top-down photo showing a pumpkin pie with one slice cut out and on a plate nearby, while someone uses a fork and knife to cut another slice — Photo by Element5 Digital

4. Plan Friendsgiving Games or Activities

Time for fun and games! If any guests have trouble opening up or shaking off stress from the day/week/month, games and activities are a great way to break through and unleash pure childlike fun. While games aren’t necessarily required to make a great Friendsgiving party, they can definitely make it more memorable or entertaining. Structured fun is especially helpful for more introverted guests, or if intriguing conversations aren’t flowing as easily across the dinner table.

If you have a group of guests who may not know each other very well, think of fun activities that allow everyone to learn something about each other. For example, have everyone make a circle in the room and have each person guess what they think the person to their right (or left) does for a living. Or what they study/studied in school. Or what they do for fun, or where they were born, etc. The idea is to keep it interesting and/or entertaining! You want people to engage with each other and enjoy everyone’s company.

Checklist of What You Need for a Friendsgiving Party

Friendsgiving party table setting: up-close view of a silver fork and knife tied together with natural twine and a brown paper 'Thank you' tag attached, overtop a golden-coloured napkin on a white plate, with a small votive candle lit nearby — Photo by Rdne Stock Project

This is a list of all of the physical things you need for this party:

Autumn harvest decorations: squash, gourds, acorns, leaves, pumpkins, corn
Delicious foods/recipe ingredients and drinks
Music (optional) and planned games/activities (optional)

Checklist of Friendsgiving Party Preparations

A woman's hands are seen fitting golden autumn leaves into a wreath hung from an exterior door — Photo by Rdne Stock Project

1. First, confirm that people can come on any chosen date:

Choose Friendsgiving party date/time, and preferably alternative date(s) as well. The most sensible weekend is the one before Thanksgiving, or possibly two weekends before, as people may be out of town or entertaining family over Thanksgiving weekend.
Choose guest list and establish minimum number of guests you’d like (to make it worth your effort). Whether or not you choose to do this potluck-style will influence the maximum number of people you invite. More people means more food, so if you are providing all of the food, don’t invite more mouths than you can feed!
Six weeks out, confirm guests’ interest in the party and availability on chosen party date(s). Remember to make sure they know whether they should bring something to share.
If your preferred minimum number of guests confirm interest and availability, have them secure the calendar date for your festive Friendsgiving party!

2. Then, proceed with the fun planning!

Schedule time on your calendar for each step of party prep. This includes setting up decorations and whatnot but primarily involves planning, purchasing, preparing, and cooking the dishes.
Create invitations with all of the details and send them out 4 weeks before the party.
Order any party supplies and decorations 3 weeks out (so they arrive in time to prepare and set up)
Shop for any party supplies/decorations you don’t order online, as well as non-perishable food/drinks
In your planned time slots, acquire perishable food/drinks early enough in advance to prepare in time
In your planned time slots, set up decorations
In your planned time slots, prepare food/drinks (depending on how long things keep)

3. Day of Party (in your amply planned time slot):

A woman wearing an apron stands in front of a table covered with Friendsgiving party place settings and decorative harvest items to light a white taper candle — Photo by Rdne Stock Project

Prepare any foods/drinks that are too fresh to do any earlier
Set up any quick last-minute decorations you didn’t want up before
Prepare music
Get dressed in your favourite dinner party outfit
Once everything’s ready, meditate or do any preferred self-care to get in a good head space for your party. You want to be relaxed, energized, and excited!

Top-down photo of powdered sugar-covered partially-sliced cinnamon spiral cake, a pumpkin pie, and a loaf of challah, with two cinnamon sticks, a few pinecones, and a lit red votive candle nearby — Photo by Element5 Digital

Friendsgiving-Ready

Now you are all set to plan a memorable Friendsgiving party! If there’s any time of year to celebrate friendship, this is it. You are showing your friends that you appreciate them, and they in turn will forever appreciate you for your hospitality.

If you can’t pull off Friendsgiving this year but still want to host something fun in November, try a Small Business Saturday shopping party the weekend after Thanksgiving!